ihavenothingtosay#1

homeless man, petaling street
pentax k10d - converted to bw in ps cs4

Life is amazing, sometimes. Other times, it's just a minefield of poop.

"If work was stressless they wouldn’t have to pay you to keep showing up."

pentax k10d + DA 17-70mm f4 + ps cs4

A minefield I've managed to sidestep better than expected, given my lack of body coordination.

I've been having spasms of feeling a little surreal, about this whole work-grown-up-thing.
I think it's also a form of self-denial. Against my added responsibilities.
That I'm one of the many thousands fresh graduate entering the working world.
That I'm invariably on such a predictable path millions have already trodden, the one i've written about in my primary school essays. Study hard, get a good job. Work hard, be financially independent. Am i prophetic or what.

Maybe working life is a bitter pill to cure an idealistic student's hallucination.
And social expectation is an invisible lead chain clasped around your neck, you get pulled along against your will, and you're not at a liberty to sit and think. There are some who probably have wondered the same and asked the same. Why am i doing what i am doing, and when that is answered, or not, if i love it.

Working for someone else in a creative industry is pretty much being a slave to someone else's ideals. If you agree to such ideals, then that's fab. Otherwise, will it be any good spending your formative years being disillusioned? And then you grow up being world-weary.

Then on the other side of the fence, there's also a question if you are too privileged. Thousands more are fighting and dreaming of your chair. So better suck it up good, whether you love what you're doing or not.

Well, work. at least my naivete is slowly being chipped off.
Pretty soon, and unsurprisingly, the luster in the eyes will be replaced with cynicism and jadedness, complementary eyebags to boot. See it happening, and its already happening, at least the part about the free gifts. Lucky lucky.

I'd hate for anyone to be robbed off their inner child.
So, stay upbeat and positive. and helpful, and give a bright smile, and feel your best, ready to take on the world. make a personal mission to brighten someone's day each day. Care a little more. Just a little reminder to myself.

I really should have better things to be bothered about.
Unfinished work, for example.
Some things never change.
How comforting.



What if my boss reads this?
Hello boss. It's the end of sunday, excuse my blues.






above quote from the old man.

Ho hum

I got into an accident yesterday night, the car skidded on the wet and, i was told, oily curve. I had been driving along the besraya highway heading towards KL with a cute package in tow. I reached the curve before the sri petaling or kuchai lama turn off when i got too near to the concrete divider and tried to steer back into a safer distance. It was then that the car started to skid uncontrollably. I don't remember if i steered too suddenly or if i was driving too fast to be able to safely maneuver the car. The speed wasn't over the top, that i can say. But it had just rained, perhaps normal speed would've still been too fast. I don't know, and i guess i cant exactly pinpoint the cause of the skid to a single reason. It's a convergence of many events leading to it.

I felt 2 impacts although it could have been three, judging by the damage on the car. the exact details are confusing. it started and ended way before I can properly react with a cuss word. I have only enough panic capacity to brace myself and my friend as we were helplessly belted by the force of the spinning car, pun intended. I was still in the is-this-for-real-mode. lol, like many of us, i never thought it would happen to me so it felt a little unreal to experience a car crash.

The noise was loud and painful to hear. You hear the tires screeching on the tarmac, the crash of metal against concrete, crushing the front headlights, plastic cracking and breaking under the intense and instantaneous pressure, another sudden dull thump across the passenger door as a blue car from the middle lane crashed into my little car doing a destructive dance. And then a final, weirdly relieving, crash from the back as the car hit the divider and came into a standstill. through it all, i felt that i'll be okay, that i just have to wait out the thrill ride. It may have been foolish faith or me being ignorant of real dangers. i'll never know. I didn't have a flashback and many things seem to be blocked from awareness. I don't know how the seat belt left its sear marks on my skin. I can guess how of course, and i can convince myself that i did feel the pain, but honestly i don't remember.

Of what I clearly remember: lost control, spinning, reached out to hold my friend, car coming from the left, and standstill. We were very very lucky to have escaped unhurt except for a little muscular aches. Very lucky there weren't many cars, lucky in a way the wet roads slowed the motorists to an extent, lucky there were tow truck sharks who were immediately present, and in trying to nab business, got us into safety. I've endangered so many lives. The one life is mine, the other dear one, isn't. Then there are the innocent motorists on the road trying to avoid the spinning car the best they can, on wet roads nonetheless. And then, there's my dad who had to try to drive the overheating, damaged car back. He stopped after a little distance and got the tow truck in the end. It's over, but it got me thinking about how very stuck i would be if i had to try to answer to a stolen life and a discarded future of another's. About the irreconcilable loss which would be felt by the ones who remain. About how responsibility on the roads is underrated and taken granted for. I'll be damned to have another person hurt or in danger because of me.

Anyway, I'm fine. Life goes on. I don't usually indulge in chirpy motivational sounding things, but there is truth to this quote.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift.
Together now, baaaaaaaaah.

I'm hungly.

Yippieeee!!

I am BACK!
The melbourne trip was great. i got to see alot of things, and will blog about all that soon. First, just a quick update/teaser for the patient ppl who've been visiting my blog (everyday, in anticipation, not giving up). haha.

I've two versions of the same shot here, one colour and one b&w. it's not a shot which is technically perfect. It doesnt have a strong subject, or a dominant focal point. But i like how it shows the bushes covering the hills. Looking at the endless fields then was breathtaking on its own. And i like the sky as much. so how? divide the photo into two equal parts. genious anot? lol.

Anyway, the BW shows off the texture better, while the colour shows off the, well, colour. haha. Usually, i'd just choose one to upload. And i most probably would've chosen the BW version, because i was at first attracted to the shapes and texture of the bushes at the scene. But everyone will have a different opinion. lemme hear your analysis and make em long. i'll be taking a while to get to the next blog post so you dont have to hurry your comments. :)

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Loch Ach Gorge, Victoria, 2009.
Taken with K10d, Sigma 10-20mm, tripod.

Notes to Genghis

Vineyard, hot springs, arthur's seat, puffing billy, hoyts, fed square, ngv, yarra river, graffiti lanes, vic market, greco, chapel street, zoo, sandwiches, cathedral, lakeside, wishing well, blackburn park or something, tree climbing, drain scaling, docklands, skydeck, brunswick, frankston, crown casino, north melbourne, and etc.

i still haven't gotten the flu yet.

Pics from North Melbourne Station during a random sunset chase. (Melb, June 2009)
Pentax K10D + Sigma 10-20mm + Cokin ND4